Stressing Over the Unknown: Why Selling One's House is a Faith Challenge

Just after accepting the call to become the Senior Pastor at Hantsport, and tendering my resignation at First Baptist, my family undertook a wonderfully stress-filled and financially disappointing venture . . . selling our home in a buyer's market.  What could be more simple?  All we needed to do is finish the renovation projects I had started and not yet completed, get the house staged for optimum photogenic display, have it spotlessly clean whenever potential buyers come through, and voila, it is sold!  We already had our real estate agent, Stuart Lyons, with whom we had done two previous real estate transactions, and who has been steadily improving his sales records year over year.  He is the type of agent that you can communicate well with, point out changes you would like to your listing, discuss options with, and know you are being heard and heeded.  No, Stuart is not paying me for this, he doesn't even know I have a rant!  But he has done well for us!  After all, how hard could it be to sell a house?  I was quite confident this place would sell quickly, kind of.

By nature I am a pessimistic optimist (or an optimistic pessimist, not sure where the emphasis should be placed).  I know, I know, the term is an oxymoron (I always loved this term in intermediate school, mostly because it had the word moron in it).  How can a person be both an optimist AND a pessimist?  I agree it makes for a strange individual, but I have been called worse than "strange."  What I mean is that my mind is two-fold on many things.  I can get excited easily and harbor a fantasy that everything will work out in my timing and with all of my desires, as long as I get everything in place that I believe is necessary for this optimistic delusion to take place.  And the flip side is that pessimistic voice that calls out to me in the back of my mind, "It'll never work." or "It's going to take forever." or my true favorite, "You don't have the skills to pull this off."  This two-mindedness often becomes apparent at the most inconvenient times, such as five minutes after I touch a sander to that hardwood floor I want to refinish, or as soon as I open my mouth to answer that complex question from that hurting person at work, or two days after listing a house on the market!  Being of two minds like this increases my tendency to verbalize my doubts, and opens me up for some of my favorite statements from people that mean well, and are trying to be an encouragement.  I find we Christians have some of the worst statements of encouragement possible. I heard several jaw droppers over the last year, but my favorite is:

"If it is God's will, it will all work out."  There are many ways this is expressed, but the supposed emphasis being, "Everything will work out, hang in there."  The problem is, we Christians think we need to make it sound spiritual.  The result?  Bad theology and poor words of encouragement.  How is this phrase an encouragement to someone who has accepted a call to a new employer and resigned with his previous employer, listed his house on the market, and is now living in a camper trailer three hours drive away, unable to buy a new house until the old one sells.  Let's take apart this statement for what it is really saying.

     a.  First message, you could be going against God's will and that's why things are not working out.  This is encouragement in the theme of Job's friends.  Job is always an encouraging read.  Due to the jealousy of Satan, Job loses his children, his possessions, his positive attitude, and his health.  He is doing so well that his wife tells him to curse God and die.  Maybe she had the spiritual gift of encouragement?  His friends sat with him for awhile, and then started to try to fix everything by telling him that he wasn't spiritual enough, or he had angered God somehow.  Job was a guy who made atonement sacrifices for his children JUST IN CASE one of them sinned at a party!  The friends were wrong.  Job was being attacked by the evil one, who wanted nothing more than to hear Job curse God.  With Job, with my family and the move, and in many of the circumstances life tosses your way, this kind of statement can make one feel like maybe they made a bad choice.  With no opportunity to go back to do it over, you can feel your life is destroyed.
     b.  Second message, everything works out for those who are doing God's will.  Really?  The apostle Peter is a great example of how things always go well for a Christian.  He was blessed, had no hardship, lived a life of ease and died an old man.  Wait... that was some other guy named Peter!  The Apostle died by being crucified upside down!  He was beaten and jailed for speaking about Jesus.  He lost many of his friends to the same hatred he experienced.  No, his life was not easy, but it was an example that God uses to show us/teach us things like endurance, tenacity, and determination to do what is right.  Yes, in the end he experiences Heaven's reward, but that has everything to do with his faith in Jesus, not his suffering.  Jesus paid the price for our forgiveness, we do not earn it ourselves through suffering.
     c.  The inverse test:  I find that a good test on a statement of truth is to see if it's inverse message is false.  In this case, the inverse message would be things do not work out for people who go against God's will.  When Jesus was asked what the most important commandment from God was, He answered with the top two, love God with all your being, and show that by loving the people He created.  Read a newspaper, or watch the news online.  Does it show only God's will being done?  Terrorism, pollution, inequality, murder, greed, gossip and lust dominate the reporting.  Clearly things happen that are not according to God's will.

What do we do with this?  First, we need to remember that we really should refrain from giving pat answers to people's situations.  Just listen, pray for them (and tell them that you are) and provide assistance where you are able.  Most of the time what people really what when they are talking to you is to be heard, not fixed.  Second, remember that God gave all of humanity the freedom to make choices for good or evil, and that our choices affect others.  Bad things happen to good people, and good things to bad people.  God CAN deliver us from evil, and CAN work miracles to bring things about for us.  I believe He does, more often than we know.  But we need to be careful not to think that just because something is not going as we desire, that it is not God's will.  Satan is also at work to mess things up.  You can even read in the Bible about an angel messenger held up by a demon, and unable to bring God's message to a prophet in a timely manner.  Yes, in the end everything does work together for the good of those who love Jesus, but sometimes that means leaving this earth and going to Heaven, the ultimate in good things.

So what about our house?  My Dad spent weeks helping my family get things ready.  A storage unit  was rented and filled to capacity.  Almost very surface that could be painted was, holes filled, the basement finished, and everything made virtually pristine.  We started in early January and worked through even after the listing being active.  We set our price at a level we felt was very competitive.  Then we waited.  Showings and feedback, "Too big," "Too expensive," "Not my style," and "I don't like the colors."  A couple of price reductions to the place that we had the least expensive house with four bedrooms all on one floor, still no bites.  I was getting nervous and frustrated.  Maybe I had made a mistake?  Maybe everyone in Hantsport who voted for my family to come was wrong.  I even started wondering about changing real estate agents.  Finally an offer comes our way.  There was an absolute minimum we could take, and that was exactly what the offer was for!  We didn't even counter the offer, just accepted it.  We were pleased to be able to move on to the next stage.  Everything worked out, God did provide, but not in my time or to my desired financial gain.  Was it God's will that we come to Hantsport?  I believe so.  Did God want us to lose money on the sale?  I doubt it.  But life happens to the just and the unjust, and all of our decisions affect others, in small ways and big ways.

Thanks to God for our house in Riverview selling.